Get to know yourself so you can be yourself:
If you aren’t into loud keg parties, then don’t go. If bar-hopping on Saturday nights sounds like a nightmarish hassle, then those people are not your people. How do you find your people? Well, let’s think about what you LOVE to do.
Do some writing:
Sit down and think about your favorite times in life. What were you doing? Who were you with? What did you LOVE about those times? Write these things down either via journaling or making lists.
Notice the patterns:
These aspects of what you loved are part of what makes you - YOU! Believe it or not, THERE ARE people who enjoy the same things as you or who are interested in learning about the things that float your boat. How do you find these people?
Find places where your people gather:
Start with seeing if your college campus has any clubs that interest you. If not, see about starting your own. You could make posters or create a Facebook group for the sci-fi book club or people who are interested in existential spirituality or bowling or whatever activities you fancy.
PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE:
This is harder for introverts or people with social anxiety, but if you’re sitting alone in your room reading every night, NO ONE WILL KNOW THAT YOU’RE THERE! Branch out a little – maybe sit in the dorm common area – leave the headphones off for a while – you’ll appear more approachable that way. When you see someone headed your way, look up and make eye contact. If you see someone else reading in the common area – take a risk! Go up to them and ask them about what they’re reading – starting up conversations can be scary, but very rewarding.
STAVE OFF ANXIETY:
Here are some tips for getting grounded and reducing anxiety. Remind yourself that you are the only unique YOU that exists and you are worth getting to know! Remember to BREATHE. Feel your feet and know that you are safe. Even if it feels scary to put yourself out there – what’s the worst that can happen? Maybe the conversation will fall flat or they won’t be interested in talking to you, but if that’s the case, move on! That’s THEIR loss – they have no idea what an amazingly unique person they’ve missed out on meeting! When you find your people, THEY will be so grateful for you and your presence.
I hope this has helped you to navigate the anxieties of socializing in college a bit. Hit me up if you have any questions or want to discuss this subject further. Also, feel free to share this post if you found it helpful. Take care and ENJOY THE JOURNEY!! ‘Til next time!