Managing Post ThankSgiving Day (PTSD) Emotions
You made it through Thanksgiving…however it feels as if it was just by the skin of your teeth.
Maybe you spent time with your mother who was able to carve the turkey and slice through your self-confidence all in one fell swoop.
Perhaps, you were forced to sit next to the uncle who is usually over-served and manages to make you still feel uncomfortable with his comments.
You were maybe asked by your grandmother when you will have a significant other or when you will get married or have a baby because she ‘won’t be here much longer.’
Maybe your father questioned why you haven’t been promoted at work, making you feel guilty or worthless.
Your family possibly began discussing different political views, which always leads to tension.
Perhaps, you felt anxious about the expectations your family always has of you, so you found yourself falling into your family ‘role’ to keep the peace.
All you know is that the turkey got off much easier than you.
By the end of Thanksgiving Day, you didn’t feel like the confident adult you know you are, you felt anxious, overwhelmed and drained. You felt your old wounds reopened and you wanted to retreat inside of yourself because the comments you felt like you already dealt with, still hurt you. You were still bothered by the family drama that you found yourself dragged into, even though you thought you set that boundary. You're angry and even upset because you thought that this year would finally be different.
So, it feels easier to crawl into bed, ignore what happened at Thanksgiving and binge watch your favorite TV show. It feels easier to ignore your feelings, push down the anxiety surrounding family drama or the guilt about this year not being different. As easy as it is to do this, you can support yourself in a different way this year the day after Thanksgiving. You don’t have to ignore your feelings or put emotions in a box on a shelf. You can engage in strategies to manage your post Thanksgiving Day emotions by:
Engaging in self-care–This might mean sticking to your daily routine the next day after Thanksgiving or maybe doing something that brings you a sense of joy. This can include reading a book, taking a walk, getting exercise, practicing deep breathing, journaling or taking a bath. Whatever self-care you choose to do, take care of yourself the day after the holiday and unwind.
Focusing on the things you can control–You find yourself ruminating about family disagreements that occurred or comments that were made about you. Try to focus on the fact that, unfortunately, you do not have control over what others think, say or feel. However, what you do have control over is your own actions, thoughts and emotions. You also have control over the power you give to what others say. You have the power to choose how what was said impacts you.
Limiting social media–Scrolling through Instagram, Facebook or Snapchat posts can continue to trigger your anxiety and/or anger because you are seeing others ‘perfect’ Thanksgiving gatherings. You see other families getting along and you feel jealous. The reality is you are only seeing what others have chosen to share with the world, you don’t know what actually happened at someone else’s Thanksgiving!
Acknowledging your feelings–You are allowed to feel your feelings. It is okay to feel the way that you do! Rather than ignoring or pushing down your feelings, allow your feelings to wash over you like a wave on a beach, coming and going. You can feel your emotions when they are present and not react ineffectively.
Reaching out for support–Whether it’s connecting with friends, family members or a support group talking about your thoughts, feelings and emotions can help rather than feeling you need to handle it alone.
