Today marks one month since the beginning of COVID-19 quarantine lockdown and it’s been longer for some. While some people are feeling gratitude and connection with their loved ones,
Many are feeling anxiety, depression, trauma symptoms, PTSD symptoms, isolation, grief and lonliness.
This is not the sort of thing where we can just dig deep, hold our breath and power through. We have no idea how long this will last and if we will need additional quarantines after this. Also, haven’t you spent enough time and energy trying to avoid feelings? I know I have. One of my favorite people to read and listen to, Glennon Doyle, wrote:
“Pain is not tragic. Pain is magic. Suffering is tragic. Suffering is what happens when we avoid pain and consequently miss our becoming. “ - Glennon Doyle , Untamed.
So what do we do with the pain? The anxiety? The trauma memories if we’re not supposed to avoid them?
We face them. We process them. We share them and we recover from them.
We used to hear people saying that they were victims of crime, victims of trauma and then later that they were survivors: abuse survivors, trauma survivors, etc. One day, I heard a woman explain that she is not a victim and she is not a survivor anymore either; rather that she was a trauma THRIVER. She explained that she wouldn’t allow her past experiences of domestic abuse, grief and loss or childhood sexual abuse define her any longer because she not only learned how to overcome, she learned how to thrive. I heard her talk about that while I was in my own healing process and it definitely stuck in my memory bank as yet another reason I wanted to become a therapist. I wanted to thrive and then help others learn to do the same.
This idea of trauma experience and using it to thrive was what I built Spilove Psychotherapy on. I wanted to create a healing space where I, along with people I respected could bring all of our healing powers and abilities to the table so we could help our clients to thrive.
So how does this relate to the importance of mental health during COVID-19?
In every single way. Some of us have been training for this: we’ve been doing our work and going inward to learn how to find compassion and even love for ourselves. Some of us have not been able to do trauma work or face our anxiety, depression grief or loss. But ALL of us are now in this collective trauma and we are all experiencing grief and loss in some way. Physical health is only ONE component of this COVID-19 puzzle. I heard Dr. Fauci even say if our mental health is breaking down, what good is our physical health anyway? The point is, we know its tough and we are here to support you. Whether you’re a healthcare worker or if you’ve lost your job or if you’re sick or close to someone who is: now is the time for mental health support.
To learn more about our virtual groups for grief, health care workers, body image, DBT Skills or individual and relationship counseling or to schedule your initial phone consultation, contact us by clicking here.
Tiffany Spilove, LMFT
Tiffany Spilove, LMFT is a Marriage and Family Therapist providing support for those struggling with complex trauma, those in recovery from addiction and people looking to make life transitions. She provides psychotherapy and EMDR for trauma resolution.