Temper Tantrums
Did your child tantrum at age two, two and a half or even three? If not, is your child tantruming now? When children tantrum at an older age it is often a result of skipping a normal developmental stage called, Rapprochement. I am sure you have heard of the “terrible twos” and the bad rap that comes along with temper tantrums.
Temper tantrums are actually a necessary part of development.
In fact, when kids do not tantrum, they do not learn and understand that their parents can be mad at them and love them at the same time, which is an important skill to have. Skipping this stage is not a result of YOUR parenting, even if your child cannot tolerate when you get mad at them. The good news is that your child can work through and complete this stage! It’s not too late, and it’s a great opportunity to learn how to use an “I mean it voice”, hear your child, validate their feelings and strengthen your attachment. Even more good news: the truth is that
if your kid is acting out towards you, they feel safest with you because they know you love them unconditionally.
So maybe we should rename the terrible twos as the maybe-terrible-but-necessary twos.
Alli Domers, MSS
Clinical Specialist
Alli Domers is a Clinical Social Worker specializing in working with children and their families. Alli has expertise in working with children ages 3 to 12 years old, especially those with Autism, trauma and sensory integration. She is trained in child development, attachment, mindful parenting, sensory integration, behavioral challenges, Autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression and grief and loss. She utilizes Play Therapy, Sandtray Therapy, art, movement and Mindfulness-Based-Play-Family Therapy and is proficient in American Sign Language. To book your free 15-minute phone consultation with Alli in Bryn Mawr or West Chester, click the button below: