By Julia Salerno, Villanova Graduate Level Therapist
Is Therapy for Me?
Therapy has made a number of strides over the last decades as new therapeutic approaches have been discovered and old approaches have been refined. Therapists, counselors and psychiatrists alike are deepening their knowledge about the power of talk therapy. However, as we get closer to exiting the year 2020 (can I get a woot woot?), therapy is often still seen as taboo, a secret that should be hidden deep in the back of our closets or swept under the rug. And, it is not surprising that we have these views about therapy. Many of us grew up in a world or environment that encouraged us to push down our internal feelings, thoughts and emotions. We were maybe taught to suppress our emotions because it was not “appropriate” or “too much”. So, we did just that! We stuffed down our emotions and repressed our feelings. And, we became really good at it, good at stuffing down that anger, sadness or frustration, good at telling everyone that we are ‘okay!’ and good at putting on the mask.
Well, I am here to tell you that talk therapy is a way for us to drag those secrets out of the dark and into the light!
A way for us to rip off the mask and be our truest selves! A way for us to know that it is okay to not be okay. And, I know it sounds scary, because how the heck are you supposed to change what you have learned over the last maybe twenty, thirty or even forty years? But, I am telling you that you can, you just have to rewire your mindset about the word therapy.
Think of therapy as a tool.
Because therapy really is a tool that allows anyone, and I mean anyone to be successful! You just need to do a few things to really get the most out of therapy and those are: be honest, be open and be real. As long as you can be honest, open and real with a talk therapist you truly will succeed and feel a change in yourself. You will begin to feel the sunshine on your face.
The beauty of talk therapy is that it not only addresses the symptoms that you might be experiencing, but it really gets to the nitty gritty of the cause of your problems.
Talk therapy can help you overcome pain that you might have experienced in your past, to process that pain and to collaboratively come up with coping strategies to assist you in the future. Additionally, therapy also asks you to take a step back and understand the different moving parts that are around you. And you might be wondering, what I mean by ‘parts.’ We all have ‘parts’ of ourselves. We can have anxious parts, depressed parts, ED parts, stressed parts, frustrated parts and a number of other feelings or ‘parts.’ What we need to do is ask ourselves how we can help these parts so that we can feel better. How do you feel toward those parts of yourself? Can you view these parts compassionately instead of with anger or fear? What do my parts need so that they feel secure? When we are able to understand our parts better, we can address the root of our problem(s) and feel a sense of inner peace. (**If you’re this idea of parts resonates with you, you may be interested in finding a therapist who uses Internal Family Systems for depression, anxiety, trauma, eating disorders, etc).
Talk therapy allows individuals to explore their moods and behaviors in a setting that is safe and confidential.
Through talk therapy, you and a therapist can come to understand and develop a fresh perspective on your emotions. Additionally, a therapist can really help you increase your self-esteem, improve your relationships and improve your overall outlook on life!
Talk therapy can be helpful for an anyone, but can be especially helpful for individuals with the following concerns:
· Depression
· Anxiety
· Eating disorder and body image
· Mood disorder
· Obsession and compulsions
· Problems with relationships and/or marriages
· Help with negative thoughts or behaviors
· Exploration of gender and sexuality
· Life stage transitions
· Grief and Loss
Talk therapy gains include the following:
· Improved communication & interpersonal skills
· Greater self-acceptance and self-esteem
· Ability to change behaviors and habits
· Better management of emotions
· Increased confidence
· Ability to manage stress effectively
· Improve problem-solving skills
Talk therapy has a number of benefits! And it is time for us to view therapy in a different light.
Going to therapy is not a “shameful thing” to do. It is actually extremely positive, as it is a time for you to sort through the emotions and feelings that you might be having, a time for you to engage in self-care and a time for you to embrace change. So, whether you are contemplating finding a therapist for the first time or if you are thinking about seeing a therapist again, I ask you to think about one thing: when was the last time you felt the sunshine on your face and felt at peace?
