What Causes You To Disconnect and Feel Lost in Your Body And What Can You Do About It?
You wake up in the morning, you look down at your hands, and you wonder how on earth those things could ever be yours.
Ever had that feeling that your skin, which you think, feel, and move in, is just some other article of clothing that doesn’t fit?
Have you ever had those days when you do not recognize the reflection you see in the mirror?
Although these feelings and experiences do not have immediate consequences, it can feel miserable, dark and even hollow at times.
This experience, that you are having, is what we call disembodiment.
Disembodiment is a feeling of not being present in your body, feeling unsafe or even out of control of your body. For many clients, disembodiment happens because the memories held in their body are too much to handle and disconnecting from their body is a way to keep themselves safe.
Trust me, I get it. It feels a lot easier to disengage from your body when you have experienced trauma, maybe it feels good or comfortable to live this way. And you have only been protecting yourself the best way you know how.
However, living in a state of disembodiment, though it might feel ‘normal’ and safe, will not be able to support you in the long run and can even be harmful. This state of disembodiment can stop you from living in the present moment with your body, from learning new things about who you are, and from trusting yourself. Before we dive into ways to live a fully embodied life, let’s talk about how we can fall prey to disembodiment.
Signs and Causes of Disembodiment
There are so many reasons our minds and bodies can become disconnected in the first place. Maybe judgment or shame from others has left a barrier between you and yourself. Social and cultural ideas of what a body ‘should’ look like have likely been creeping into your mindset since you were a child. Or perhaps you’ve spent your life experiencing the oppression of being in a different kind of body in a world which idealizes thin, white, cis-gendered, and heterosexual bodies.
It can be difficult to describe the experience of disembodiment, just as it can be hard to describe a sensation when you’re not feeling it. Some signs that might be a good indicator of the experience are
A sense that your body doesn’t quite feel like home
That it’s difficult to trust what your body is telling you about hunger, sleep, and emotions
It feels easier to insult or blame your body than speak kindly about and to it
You go between attempts to ignore your body and to ‘fix’ it
The practice of coming back to your body, of living an embodied life, is not easy. However, being able to begin your embodiment journey will give you the ability to practice living within your body and be one with your body, rather than disengaging from the experience of your body. Therapy can be a space for you to explore disembodiment more and learn new things about yourself and grow in,
Awareness
Ability to learn the language your body is trying to speak to you in
Learn to trust your body, and that it can lead you into a life that is fuller and content
Begin to understand/unpack the messages you’ve received about your body
Move from dislike, to neutrality, to positivity about your body
It is uncomfortable to re-explore the connection yourself, especially when you have been disconnected from yourself for so long. However, therapy is a space for you to learn how to trust yourself again, understand your body through a more curious, compassionate lens and connect again with your truest self.
